1. Theresa

    “We do not want more children. As a culture, as a collectivity, as a civilization. We admire attachment, vulnerability, and self-sacrifice as the idiosyncrasies of the saints, not as ideals worth the skin off our knees. We condemn individualism in others but we would rather be caught dead than dependent. ” I agree so much with this diagnosis. Expecting a third child in the States, having had to do some unique and stressful maneuvers just to imagine affording each birth (cost sharing ministries rather than Insurance!) At this pt I am 100% dependant on family and the community I’m trying to develop for babysitting, car and free plumbing help! It has been very good for humility to day the least. The stats,studies and confused strangers at the grocery store often imply that we have no business “choosing to have another child” without having the College Funds squared but what a frightened way to live. Seems a good way to get the narrow, unimaginative, well laid plan we planned for!

  2. Raquel

    A candid response, Véronique, on contemplating this natural crossroad (or liminal space), to having children and to “how critical ‘affordability’ is” to making the decision.
    “It’s all about choices”; I agree, and having had my children was a fine one; my personal investment in raising my sons has already payed dividends. And, yes, even with living off one income (my husband’s), and the restrictions therein, we never considered finances in our decision to having them, either.
    We budgeted so as to not spend more than we made-after some experience and real life lessons anyway, and the “self-sacrifice, unconditional love, giving until it hurts…”.
    Nonetheless, I wouldn’t change that choice for any delusion of being financially better-off without them.
    And, candidly, my personal life grows continually more content, being a mother to my fine young men, who are growing, learning to think for themselves and becoming positive contributors to the family and community. They are helpful and productive- and I’m thrilled that the diaper stages are over; and, they are now able to help pay for their education and, don’t forget, unlimited internet access, as well!

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