MEDS: In which I write about undergarments and what fits in my old bras

MEDS: Minimally Edited Daily Stuff

When you go back to work in an office after 5 years of working from home, the first thing you realize is that your wardrobe is vastly inadequate.

You start shopping for clothes, then realize that your Converse flats won’t cut it. You go shopping for shoes, then learn that there is no such thing as a truly all-purpose women’ shoe. You buy two or three pairs — the black ones, the flat ones and the cool ones. You wargame your outfits and you imagine going out to a professional lunch or coffee meeting. In your mind’s eye, it works until you see yourself putting your winter jacket and boots to go outside. That’s when you realize that the slightly-too-small puffy jacket from the thrift store and the Sorel boots your daughter outgrew in grade 8 are ruining your professional vibe. Buy boots and a jacket, think you’re done bleeding money until you receive the blouse you ordered online and realize in horror that it doesn’t fasten at the front. And the part of your blouse that doesn’t fasten is not the third button that sits across your chest but the one right above the navel, where your chest currently sags. So you decide to see what all the hype is about and get a proper bra fitting. That’s how I ended-up at Bra Chic.

Bra Chic’s sales model is inspired by the home real estate market before MLS became available to everyone. They keep all the bras in the back of the store and let you try what they think you need. Right between the $90 bras, they’ll make you try a $200 bra and your boobs will sing for joy! Here’s my friendly advice: tell the girl who is fitting you how much you want to spend on a bra. If you don’t give the ladies a price range, they will bring you the best bra for your type and it will probably be somewhere in the vicinity of $200. And just like real estate, you think you’re fine in your 3-bedroom townhome with your 4 kids and your dog until you visit the new 4-bedroom single family home on a corner lot. It’s really hard to unsee your rack in a $200 bra so don’t even try one.

That said, after buying a really expensive bra from Bra Chic, I took my new knowledge of bra fitting to Victoria’s Secret and got me 3 more bras and a pair of leggings in their Buy 2 Get 2 special. Wanna know what? A perfectly fitted $60 Victoria’s Secret bra does not make your boobs look half as good as a perfectly fitted $120 bra from Bra Chic. Wanna know what else? Buying a good bra will make you lose 10, possibly 20, pounds.

Still on the topic of my chest… I nursed Ève until she was 4 and Damien until he was 2.5… that’s years, not months. Damien still has the habit of tucking his hand between my boobs, and — if I don’t give him hoof right away — under it. Yesterday I was wearing my car-payment-sized new bra and he was unable to tuck his hand between my boobs, even less underneath it. That’s when I realized that my previous bras were so poorly fitted that my 4 year-old son could put a hole hand in them. That’s not good ladies (Gosh I sure hope there are not gentlemen still reading this…)

I spent good money on oversized clothes to cover what 20 years of pregnancy and nursing did to my silhouette. But they always ended-up looking frumpy. Lesson: spend less on clothes and more on a good bra. Now: is there a similar option for the muffin top that won’t make you feel like you’re on the menu for Oktoberfest? I await your suggestions.